If you’re reading this email right now, there is probably at least one thing about your team or organization that you want to change, but the thought of making that change is scary.   Maybe it’s a staffing decision or someone’s behavior that doesn’t feel right.   In your gut, or in your heart of hearts, you know what you need to do.  

But you haven’t done anything yet.  Perhaps because acting on that feeling could mean making scary decisions or having hard conversations where feelings might get hurt.  

Yesterday, I received a very distressing text from my uncle.  He shared that his husband - who is also very dear to me and has been battling cancer for over a decade - might be reaching the final stage of that battle.  “Not up for talking now, but maybe later this week,” he wrote. 

I felt a shock wave of emotion, but then - almost instantly - that was replaced with a flood of thoughts. My head started swirling with “what-ifs” as I frantically tried to wrap my head around a semblance of a plan for how to react.  

Then I stopped myself.  I sat down and closed my eyes and tried to get in touch with my heart.  After a while it became clear that trying to wrap my head around what this would mean was not only futile, it was actually a detour for me to avoid the pain in my heart. 

About four weeks ago, my back pain returned for real.  With an incredibly busy work schedule, I did everything I could to push through it.  It got worse. Then two weeks ago I spent 36 hours unable to get out of bed because of excruciating back spasms that were triggered by the slightest movement.  It had gotten so bad that I needed my wife’s help to simply turn over in bed.  

Laying there in bed, largely immobile, I did something I should have done many years ago.  I listened to Dr. John Sarno’s bestselling book, Healing Back Pain: The Mind-Body Connection.